Motoring Middle East: Car news, Reviews and Buying guides

Where’s the beef?

By Imthishan Giado

Simple formula, isn’t it? Take a tiny car, stick a great big V8 under the hood, mix with some stiff suspension and hey, you’ve got a baby supercar. It’s the same formula that produced the muscle cars of the late ’60s and early 70s. In Europe, it’s been a winner for AMG in the past decade as they’ve stuffed their legendary 6.3-litre V8 into everything from an SLS to a C-Class with usually entertaining results. Now we’ve got this new SLK and a new engine to boot.

Straight off the bat, I should admit that I’m not the world’s biggest fan of AMG products. The earlier comparison to ’60s muscle cars is very apt, I think, because that’s what the AMG cars have always come across to me, as rather crude toys for hooning in car parks, rather than precision scythes of speed. When you consider that Mercedes carefully cultivates an image of impeccable refinement, this whole AMG thing does seem slightly at odds.

But hey what do I know? AMGs have sold by the boatload over the years and people love ’em to bits. Still I wasn’t looking forward to driving around in an angry baby rhino for three days.

Not exactly subtle, is it? But ketchup paint aside, it’s not actually that different from the standard SLK. Obviously there’s a more aggressive front fascia with a lower airdam, big chunky 18-inch AMG wheels and those tasty four exhaust pipes in the back but it’s actually quite hard to tell apart from the standard SLK.

Is it attractive? Not especially. The wheels are the wrong colour and the wrong style – they look like they belong on some old fussy Toyota Crown from the ’80s, not a hot German sportscar. But what I most dislike about the AMG look is how it makes this lithe little car look like it’s lost a fight with a Weight Watcher’s diet. Again, lots of people here prefer the aggressive take-no-prisoners snout so I’m swimming upstream.

This generation of SLK has taken the monster SLS supercar as inspiration and nowhere is that more apparent than in the interior. Opulent in the best Mercedes tradition with flawless stitching, hairsbreadth panel gaps and a chunky feel to the switchgear, this is car that feels utterly built to last.

Honestly, once I get in I never want to leave.

The interior also holds the coolest thing about this car: the ‘Magic Sky Roof’. At the press of a button, the tint electrically changes tint from 100% clear to nearly opaque and it’s a party trick that never gets old. In our climate it also makes a whole heap of sense; you may not always want to put the roof down in the midst of dusty weather but with Magic Sky you can still experience a near top down experience without the faff and noise of a open sunroof.

But enough about sunroofs and suntans. The SLK interior is superb, end of, with every toy ticked on the option sheet.

What you came here to find out is whether the boss SLK is any good to drive…and you may not like the answer.

Problem is, this just doesn’t feel like a crazy AMG product. The 412bhp  5.5-litre V8 is actually rather, umm, quiet. Even under full bore acceleration it doesn’t have the whipcrack roar that you were quite expecting from the menacing rumble at startup.

Don’t get me wrong; this is one seriously quick car, needing just 4.5 seconds to dispatch the 0-100kph sprint and with 398lb of torque, there’s plenty of poke when you need it. It’s just that it never really gells together as well it should to make a satisfying driving experience. The steering is too light on the straightaway, almost like it’s been optimised for highway work while the transmission obey the commands of the paddles with all the enthusiasm of a sulky teenager.

I’m not finished. The suspension feels like it could badly use a ‘Comfort’ option because it feels rock-hard most of the time, clattering over bumps and speedbreakers like you’re trekking across the Kalahari in an old Land Rover. Then’s there’s the chassis balance. In the bigger AMG cars, fitting a big engine gives you the grunt to get out of the hole. In this car, it’s like hooking up a Saturn V rocket to a No.2 pencil, all too much, too quickly.  You have to really balance the throttle on corner exits to make sure you don’t swap ends. And while there’s little to no body roll, there’s also precious little feel of just what the four wheels are up to or the limits of adhesion. It’s a curiously numb experience.

And then there’s the Eco stuff..oh Lord, does it get on my nerves. Imagine you’ve just bought a very expensive V8 convertible like this one. You pull up to the lights, turn and clock a pair of attractive ladies who smile in your direction. Then the engine lurches and cuts out – to save fuel – but to everyone else, it just looks like you’ve stalled your very expensive set of wheels.

The same applies on the highway. The SLK V8 features displacement on demand like the Bentley Continental GT V8. But unlike the car, the switchover between four and eight cylinders is not imperceptible. Instead, there’s a slight cough every so often as the cylinders switch and out, like a misfire. In fact, the only reason you don’t think it’s a misfire is because the dashboard indicator changes from ‘Eco 8’ to ‘Eco 4’.

It’s enough to drive a man mad sometimes.

Verdict
The SLK 55 AMG is a bewildering vehicle, really not at all what I was expecting. As a hooligan car, it’s too quiet, the gadgets and interior too cosseting and refined. As a sports car, it’s too powerful to be controllable except for a talented few, too uncommunicative in the bends. As a GT car, it’s too stiff and unyielding in its ride while the boot’s not much cop either. As a poser car, it suffers from those lingering ‘hairdresser’ SLK associations.

So who is it for? Not for me, that’s for sure. If you really want one of these, skip the AMG bauble and buy an SLK 350.

It’s all the convertible you’ll ever need.

Specs

Price: AED292,360 ($79,600)
Engine: 5.5-litre  V8, 412bhp @ 6800rpm, 398lb ft @ 4500rpm
Performance: 0-100kph 4.5 seconds, top speed 255kph (limited)
Transmission: Seven-speed auto, rear wheel drive, 10.2L/100km
Weight: 1610kg

Verdict Trying too hard to be butch